think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
