is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
