he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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