weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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