Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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