Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
