I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
