yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
