everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
