Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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