I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I would fuck him just for his dog
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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