we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
