If that was your dad, he is hot
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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