question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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