i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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