Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
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him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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