OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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