When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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