just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
