Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
