and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
