Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
