Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize