is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
