her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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