And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well I just put wine in my tea
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
