he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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