Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
