Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
