Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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