We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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