i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
