It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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