Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize