The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
