I am spending my child support on dildos
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
