My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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