he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
