I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
