people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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