i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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