If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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