proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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