I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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