i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
