You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
