its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dicks are not precious.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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