i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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