I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
