Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Alive.
So much puke
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
