Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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