No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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