i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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