dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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