i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize