Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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