I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize